Updated: Jan 24, 2021
When you first tell someone you’re expecting, shortly after all of the screams and congratulations, most people go straight to mom talk. They begin to give you advice. They tell you what to expect. They fill you in on what they believe is high priority on the “Do’s and Don’t’s” list of motherhood. And as a mom to be (especially a first time mom to be) it’s completely natural to want to know literally everything that comes along with being a mom. So to be slightly different, instead of telling you the mom stuff that you’ve either already heard, or maybe what most people just end up googling anyway, I’ve decided to give the not so typical advice. So if you’re interested, keep reading!
1. All babies are different
This is definitely something to keep in mind with all advice you may receive along your motherhood journey. What may work for one baby (or mom) may not work for the next...and that’s okay. It can be comforting to hear people’s stories, when they have been through what you’re about to go through. But it may be a good idea to keep in mind that they are just in fact that, their stories, and not your own. When it comes to birth stories, potty training, night time routines and so on, if you were to ask 10 different moms about their experiences, you would simply get 10 different answers. So when listening to other experiences, you may find it helpful to remind yourself that your experience may be totally different.
2. Trial and error
Thank God for maternal instincts! Yes they are real. I’m sure all moms can relate when I say that you won’t always have the answers. Thankfully, one thing you can always rely on is your gut feeling, your intuition. But there will be times where you may doubt your judgement, or maybe even feel as if you don’t know what your doing. You wouldn’t be human if that weren’t the case. In those instances, it may be helpful to way your options, think of all possible outcomes, and then just go with what you believe will bring out the best results. If it works, great! If not, just try again. At least if it doesn’t work, you can do the process of elimination and you’ll be one step closer to making the right decision that will work best for you.
3. Sleep? What’s that?
Your sleep schedule will change the day your child is born, I’m sure that is to be expected. What may not be expected however, is the reality that after having your baby, your sleep schedule will just be different, and that will just be your new normal for awhile. The first few months will be quite the adjustment. Sleeping while your baby sleeps can be a great way to help you catch up on your rest. Of course this is easier said than done though, because once your little one is sleep you may feel like it’s finally the perfect time to catch up on some of the many tasks you may have been too tired or too busy to take care of. But when this is the case, when you begin to feel too tired or overwhelmed, an easy and simple way to fix this problem is to ask for help. Asking for help from your partner, a family member or someone you trust isn’t a sign of weakness, or a sign that you aren't a good mom. It’s actually the opposite. It shows your strength, asking for help and putting your pride aside isn't the easiest thing to do. But at least this way, you’ll be well rested and able to give the best version of yourself to your child.
4. New baby, New you
Giving birth and becoming a mom is without a doubt life changing. You spend 9 months growing a whole person inside of you. Then, you give birth to them, and life as you knew it is changed forever. To know that you have someone who’s wellbeing and livelihood depends on you just makes you move different. You’ll begin to see things in a different perspective, and your priorities will change. Don’t be surprised if things that may have kept your interest before, don’t seem so important after going through this new journey. But these are all good things though. Motherhood changes you for the better, and when considering all that comes along with becoming a mom, it should pretty much be expected.
5. Spend time with yourself
When you become a mom it can be easy to get so wrapped up in your baby that you begin to put yourself on the back burner. As moms, we take care of our children and our households, and we sometimes feel like it’s our job to make sure that everything runs smoothly. And most times it is, but it’s also our job to make sure that we take care of ourselves. Whether it’s your mom guilt, whether it’s your stereotypical views on motherhood, or even if it’s just the expectations you set for yourself, nothing is worth neglecting yourself for. Spend time alone with yourself. Have self care days, it’ll be so worth it. Setting aside time to unwind, relax and reset is so important. You deserve it. If you were to go to work every single day without any breaks or off days, at some point you would become overwhelmed, or reach your breaking point. So treat your everyday life the same way. Treat yourself like a priority.
What are some things you didn’t learn until you became a mom?